DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY

One friend of mine has told me one afternoon that she was rather feeling empty and unhappy lately. I asked her the reason why and she doesn’t know as well. She just gave me a shrug. What I couldn’t understand is in my point of view she was fine. She has a loving boyfriend, a great job that pays her well and doesn’t have any debts or even the responsibilities of taking care and raising a family in her shoulders.

This led me to think, is happiness really a state of mind? Can we really attain a life filled with bliss? Can we really have more good days than bad days? These are the things I have learned and have come across with lately that there are scientifically proven ways to change how one can really feel.  Why am I giving so much importance on happiness? And why do we have to pursue it at all cost? Because it feels so good to be happy, and it gives us greater benefit far more than we can imagine. 

Scientific research indicates that happy people are more likely to enjoy better health and longevity in life and that these people have more friends and stronger romantic relationships. I know that you are waiting for the money part as well and here it goes.  Psychologist also pointed out that happiness increases ones creativity, imagination, analytical skills and productivity at work thus creates more MONEY.

But what really consists of happiness? Philosophers, scientist and artists have been debating about the nature of happiness since the ancient Greek times. To Psychologists however happiness only consists of 4 components.  These are PLEASURE, MEANING, ENGAGEMENT and FEWER NEGATIVE EMOTIONS.

PLEASURE 

We all know the meaning of pleasure. It’s the sensation we get when we taste a delicious food, when our team scores a goal in football (ehem I do it all the time), when we have finished a difficult task at work or the delight that we experience when we see an old friend. This kind of happiness is about feeling good in that particular moment.  This is called by psychologist hedonic type of happiness

This is one perfect Latte, I wonder who made this? hmmm..

MEANING

Finding meaning in your life is looking outwards and connecting to something greater than our self. You can find meaning in your career, family, hobby, religion or some political activism.

ENGAGEMENT

Engagement is something that we experience when we lose track of time and even yourself because we get focused at the task at hand.  It can be while playing a musical instrument, cooking, finishing up a project at work or playing your favorite sport. It is whenever you lose a sense of yourself for an activity is called engagement or flow.

FEWER NEGATIVE EMOTIONS

 Having the feeling of anger, anxiety and depression can be inevitable at some point in our life but allowing our self to experience it can prevent us from experiencing pleasure, meaning and engagement. By reducing and possibly avoid it at all cost these unpleasant and negative feelings makes it possible to enjoy more happiness.  

These 4 components are all interconnected with each other so whenever you choose an activity that is right for you these 4 components will all just follow.

WHAT IS THE 5 A DAY PROGRAMME FOR WELL BEING?

“Choose activities that will work near the limit of our skills and knowledge. If the activity is too easy, we risk boredom; if it’s too difficult, we become frustrated.”

What are the 5 a day program for well-being? This is the report made by the UK government for the mental health of the nation, and what could be done to improve it. 400 experts have been consulted and these are what they have come up with.

CONNECT

BE ACTIVE

BE CURIOUS

LEARN

GIVE

Connect 

Connecting is about building relationships with other people. When scientists have analyzed the characteristics of happy people, it’s always the quality of their relationships that stand out. -Professor Daniel Freeman

How lucky I am with my friends they make me laugh out loud all the time.  The quality of our relationships plays a big factor in ones own happiness and well-being. When we are always surrounded by positive, loving and with the funniest people on earth, rest assured that we would mostly have good days than bad.  

I remember feeling down one time and one of my friends noticed it and he immediately brought me a favorite coffee of mine at home and we talked for hours at my place. Before I know it, my feeling down at the moment is already gone and long forgotten. It really pays to have great and caring people around us. Even my mom and my sister are always available for me 24/7 like a call center agent.

     

Be active 

 How great it is ones physical exercise does in our body. Besides that it keeps us very healthy and strong, it releases positive emotions thus improving the way we think and feel.

     

Be curious

                “Curiosity and love of life go hand in hand”. 

Always take the time to notice and savour the things that is going on around you.  I love having a few moment philosophical talks about life in general with a good friend or perhaps savoring the taste of a thick hot chocolate in Milan on why it taste so good? By doing so, you’ll discover that there is so much more to enjoy than you ever suspected.

 

  Learn

       "The excitement of learning separates youth from old age. As long as you are learning you’re not old". –Rosalyn Sussman Yalow Nobel prize winning medical physicist.

Learning new things, new activities thus kill boredom and bring excitement into our life. I remember a friend of mine who is a housewife and follows a certain kind of routine into her life for years. Sometimes she complains to me about boredom every now and then but when I phoned her just recently I felt a sudden excitement into her voice sharing to me how she got into culinary school and is learning how to bake and the fun that she was having. She is reaching her age of 50 and suddenly had full of life in her. I really believe that age is just all in the mind. Be young at heart and keep learning!

     

 Give

"If you desire an hour’s happiness, take a nap. If you desire a day’s happiness, go fishing. If you desire a month’s happiness, inherit a fortune. If you desire a lifetime of happiness, help someone else" –Chinese Proverb

I have recently been involved and believed in the project of Choice to Change Charity group (www.thechoicetochange.org) and I do believe it has benefitted me more than it benefitted others. It gave my life MEANING, because it connects me to something greater than myself.

Giving our time, attention and energy in helping others plays a crucial element into our well-being.

When psychologists have run a similar experiment, helping others gives people a deeper satisfaction in life than say eating a box of chocolate because the happiness it gives is more long lasting.  Philanthropy always beats fun. MEANING outweighs Hedonistic pleasure.

Even researchers in Germany who followed the fortunes of thousands of people over several years have found that people who are committed in helping others were significantly happier compared to those who are just driven by material rewards and job success or even those who only prioritized family, friends, social and political activities.

These are all based on scientific research and I suggest you try these suggestions yourself. I have more things to share about happiness on my next blog, but for now these are just some words that you can ponder. Until then see you next time!

Source: You Can Be Happy by Professor Daniel Freeman