HOW TO BE LIKABLE AND LOVABLE?

I have met my good friend Brian from Ireland whom I haven’t seen for so long. He visited us here in Abu Dhabi because he is now based in Dubai.  He drove for 2 hours because he wants us to meet his mom and his 2 sisters who is vacationing here in the middle east.  WONDERFUL PEOPLE. The moment he introduced his family to us, her mom and her sisters were so warm, friendly and gave us a big hug plus kiss like we were their long lost friends as well. I instantly liked them right there and then. Awkwardness of meeting your friends’ family for the first time just suddenly disappeared and put you at ease.

We talked and laughed for the whole night. His mom can easily blend in with us and her sisters are so sweet and always have some cute stories to tell. I am wondering, how come there are people that are easily liked?

Are there really some set principles that make us really likeable? I have researched and noticed these traits that makes us have good impression on people the moment we see them. So I would like to share them to you.

1.     Be the first one to say hello

-       We all hate rejection, but we all know the golden rule, give and you shall receive.  Be kind first. Be the first to break the ice! This is what I am proud of my job as flight attendant, we are always the first one to say hello. We must make our “guest” (passengers) feel welcome the moment we see them. This habit I have incorporated outside my work as well were I don’t have any hesitations being the first one to say hello to strangers.  Our interpersonal skills (which is a very important skill to learn) get honed.

2.     Smile a lot

-       When we smile a lot, it makes people open up to us more and makes us more approachable. Remember first few meetings make lasting impression. I smile a lot, up to the point where people can see my big teeth and chinky eyes. I believe these makes a sincere smile.

3.     Use people’s names.

-       Using peoples name makes them feel really important. I admit this is my weakness and to a lot of people as well, but it is not an excuse of not doing so. I remember one time, I went to Washington, and I was with a whole group of crew going around the city, I know everyone’s name except for this one person whom I was talking to. We both get along so much up to the point of getting each other’s cellphone number. Because I was feeling shy to ask for her name after a whole day of being together, I just asked her subtly by saying "what's your nickname"?  Works every time.

4.     Look people in the eye when you speak to them

-       I know some people who just cant seem to look at you straight in the eye. It easily gives me the impression either you’re not confident with yourself or you’re hiding something. Just by looking straight in the eye by the person you are talking to gives the impression that you mean what you say and that you are confident with it. 

5.     Become a world-class listener.

-       Everyone loves a great listener. Once we master this skill, we automatically become the “relationship superstar”. Have you ever noticed, we love that one person more because he/she just knows how to listen? Because listening shows we are interested and not inlove with ourselves. I know a lot of people like this who are in front of a group of friends and they just love to talk, talk, talk only their ideas and their stories and rarely listens to what everybody has to say. Their idea of listening is just waiting until the other person has finished speaking so that they can interject.

-       Everybody has ideas and every body has opinions but everyone also wants to be heard.  Be sensitive!

6.     Offer sincere compliments. Giving Praise is free

  

                - You know why we easily loved my friend Brian’s mom and sister? They are

                   very quick to give people praise and sincere compliment. They listen while   

                   you speak plus they easily give positive remark, “you are so funny”, “your  

                   are very kind”, “I love your friends”, “Jennifer is so beautiful and kind”  

                   haha okay I am  exaggerating the I am beautiful part, but really they are       

                   very quick to give sincere compliments to people around them. Not those

                  fake compliments where people can sense that its all bluff but those   

                  sincere compliments coming from the heart.

7.     Treat everyone like royalty and equal respect

-       It scares me to see people who are only kind to those whom they can get something in return. Being kind to everyone and I mean everyone also mean with those people whom we think are small, like the waiters, drivers, cleaners etc. By doing so, shows our true character especially to the people around us. Remember small is big. How you treat the small people, always shows how big you are.   

8.     Reach out BUT NOT only when you need something.

                           

Call me maybe?

-       I know a couple of friends, who just remember to reach out to you, only when they need something. Their favorite “first line” would be “How are you?” and after you being so happy hearing from them, you respond to their question “I’m fine what about you?” their answer would be I need something from you or I need a favor from you or can you buy me this.

The question of “how are you” is becoming overused especially to people who doesn’t really care how you are but who just need favors. Make friends not just to get something, but what we can give to that person. With that way of thinking flocks of help when we truly need it will come right at us,

9.     Be extremely polite

-       I love what David Beckham said in one of his interviews in the newspaper. He said; “me and Victoria make sure that our kids grow up being extremely polite. It’s the first thing that we ask our teachers, if this is being followed by our kids in school”. 

Saying “please” and “thank you” is a must.

10. Be humble

-       One of my favorite traits of all time are the people who are extremely humble. They may have reached the heights, but their feet are still on the ground.  And I believe it’s so easy to win admirers and fans by this one trait if you really do have conquered the world.

-       I remember having a “VIP” guest in first class and they happen to be the Chief financial Officer and shareholder of an airline company, I addressed him “sir can I offer you etc” (I addressed him “Sir” instead of his name because I honestly forgot his name that time, bad memory I know) he just suddenly corrected me and said “stop calling me Sir, I’m a nobody.“  He definitely earned more of my respect for this fellow and became a great story to tell.     

I really believe that in life, you give what you get. Share your knowledge and make use of your talent, your time, your money, your kindness, your love to the people around you and life will always have its way of rewarding you back. I know this firsthand because I have experienced it first hand.  God always favors the cheerful givers.